i spend a very uncomfortable night at some friends’ apartment last night. it really made me realize that i am no longer considered a friend to those people anymore. i just didn’t belong. they really didn’t want me there. and that got me thinking how few friends i really have anymore period. i live 20 miles from everyone and they’ve all forgotten about me or don’t consider me a close friend anymore. no one calls me or invites me out. they’re all in their new groups or in their relationships. i used to have such a vibrant social circle, and then everyone grew up.
i don’t have any single girlfriends to go out with or vent about my hookups gone awry. i can’t talk about said hookups with my friends in relationships because they wouldn’t approve (hey single people need to get laid too). no one i know is in a perpetual state of single like i am. they don’t understand how draining and difficult it is. singledom to constant couplers is like an amusement park they visit once every few years, it’s scary and thrilling. but then they get to go home. they don’t know how much it sucks to live in that amusement park. it’s dirty and the food is gross, the rides make you sick and it gets old veryvery fast. i don’t want to be here anymore. at least not alone here anymore. this place would be way more enjoyable if i could do it with a friend.
i have a severe hatred for all people and earthly things (that are not animals or andrew) today. i just wanted to cry and sleep and cry and scream and lay on a couch and eat macaroni & cheese and drink hot chocolate. i was hating the fat ginger in my class wheezing and making his fat noises. and my ipod for playing shitty music and only working on one side. and my contact for ripping. and einsteins for only having burnt coffee. and my damn power cord that hasn’t come yet so i can’t move my laptop. all of it. and all these people. everywhere. being gross and crazy and rude. all those conceited and happy people in love. those guys who don’t give me a second look and don’t love me. and those girls with their skinny legs that don’t touch, i think i hate them the most.
Have you ever heard of Crystal Renn? If you ever think you want to be skinny again, just do an image search on her. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL...and she made me love myself - if only for today. FUCK SKINNY FASHION BITCHES.
also, sorry i'm so random.
i have heard of her and i love her. she’s incredible! and she fills out all those fashions muchmuch better than those walking sticks ever could. IT’S OKAY TO BE BUILT LIKE A REAL WOMAN!
Once it warms up maybe I’ll wake up crazy early some Monday to spend all day at the zoo!
oh man i love love love the st. louis science center. we used to go there every year when we were visiting my god-mother as kids. my favorite part was always sitting up on the bridge over the highway and clocking all the cars that drove under and tisk-tisk-ing the speeders. god that place is the best.
Sarah Palin has a suggestion for how Barack Obama can save his presidency. “Say he decided to declare war on Iran,” she said on Fox News last week. “I think people would perhaps shift their thinking a little bit and decide, well, maybe he’s tougher than we think he is today.” Such talk is in the air again. Palin was picking up the idea from Daniel Pipes, a neoconservative Middle East expert who suggested a strike would reverse Obama’s political fortunes. (Actually, Palin attributed the idea to Patrick Buchanan, but obviously entirely misread Buchanan’s column, which opposed Pipes’s suggestion. It’s getting tiresome to keep pointing out these serial gaffes, but Palin does appear to be running for president.)
It is important to recognize the magnitude of what people like Sarah Palin are advocating. The United States is being asked to launch a military invasion of a state that poses no imminent threat to America, without sanction from any international body, and with few governments willing to publicly endorse such an action. Al Qaeda and its ilk would present it as the third American invasion of a Muslim nation in a decade, proof positive that the United States is engaged in a war of civilizations. Moderate Arab states and Muslim governments everywhere would be on the defensive. As Washington has surely come to realize, wars unleash forces that cannot be predicted or controlled.
excuse me, girl scouts? can we have a moment here?
i would like to address this year’s tagalongs. for my entire life these cookies have been a bright ray of sunshine in the middle of a coldcold february day. i make a cup of hot tea or cocoa or coffee or what not, break one in half, use my teeth to scrape off the peanut butter in the middle and then dip the cookie in my hot drink of choice till it’s literally falling apart and i have to use a spoon to scoop out the mushy cookie of the bottom of my cup. this is a very important and spiritual ritual for me.
so the other evening, in my pneumoniatic state, as i prepped my cookie ritual i decided to eat one tagalong without dipping it. OH MY GOD. what did you guys do to my cookies?! they’re disgusting! rather than being crumbly like they’re made from pounds of butter and flour, they’re flaky and dry and GROSS. have you hopped on that gluten-free bullshit wagon? are they, dare i say it…..vegan?? did my mother convince you to make them gross so i wouldn’t eat them? i knew she looked shifty-eyed when that little neighbor girl dropped them off.
If this isn’t an epic nerdgasm I don’t know what is
Super-Size Me director Morgan Spurlock is supossedly teaming-up with geek writer/director Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) for a documentary about San Diego Comic-Con and fanboy culture. Sources tell E! that Spurlock and Whedon are currently searching for three super geeks to follow around at this year’s Comic-Con, and the three months leading up to the mega-geek convention. No more information has been revealed at this time. Spurlock was at Comic-con last year interviewing people for the Simpsons 20th anniversary fan documentary The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3-D! On Ice! What might Spurlock and Whedon be up to?
as I post this several hundred people wet themselves…
gaaaahhh!!! i HAVE to go to comic-con again this year or i will be PISSED OFF!
what is it about me that says “hey you’re enjoyable to have sex with. but when we’re not doing that, can you give me advice on how to fall in love with girls who are not you?”
this has got to be at least the third guy to do this to me. i am not one of your dudebros but with a box you can play in. and please stop talking about how no girls are ever interested in you. i am! i slept with you!
so excited for morgan to make her east coast adventure in march. she just emailed me her flight itinerary and i’m super pumped. we’re going to do lots of fun things together like show her baltimore for the first time and spend lots of time in dc and talk about how much we love each other.
i am oh so veryvery excited! i couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my last spring break. you know….we could just spend the whole trip talking about how much we love each other. i’d be okay with that.
in the early portion of i don’t care about your band, klausner is going through all her adolescent sexual awakenings and teenage formative sexual experiences. this got me thinking: what were my formative sexual experiences? and then i began thinking about the guys that i have had sexual relations with but never actually had sex with. dear friends, i do not recommend ever ever doing this. especially if you are as “friendly” as i am. once you start to realize how much junk you’ve seen and how many guys have seen yours you will be very swift in wanting to close up shop immediately.
“there are ladies who hook up instead of date because those are the crumbs to feast on when they are starving.”—from the introduction of julie klausner’s book i don’t care about your band. 30 pages in and the girl just gets me. oh! and she has a tumblr! yays!
because I am drunk and on my way home to sleep 10 hours. Protein rush. The underaged drunk nerd girls behind me are talking about their being rejected. They are also discussing video games. Nerds. Some nerd boys somewhere would treat these girls right. Those nerd boys are up late dreaming of it. If only the nerd girls knew.
This is the kind of thing that pisses me off, in an efficiency sense. This is the kind of thing that keeps me going, in a romantic sense.