so, as if it hasn’t been glaringly obvious, i’ve been in quite the funk lately. to help myself deal with wanting something that i can’t have, i made a playlist of relevant songs. they’re in no particular order since i just put it all on shuffle.
warning: upon listening to this mix you may experience the feeling of a giant hole in your chest. do not panic, this is just a feeling. you do not have a hole in your chest.
ok, this is super tl;dr, but help me tumblr, you’re my only hope! (not really, but you can never pass up a star wars reference.)
so i’m getting booted from my apartment at the end of the month (ugh long story) and i’m looking for a new place. the problem? i’m trying to move to california in october or november and finding a short term lease on a non-shithole is a fairly trying process. also, the rental market is just totally fucked and every landowner and management company is raising rents by $50-$100 which makes saving for this big move at the end of the year very difficult.
but i maybe found a place! it’s a beautiful studio in one of my favorite neighborhoods. it’s HUGE (700sqft) and has a sunroom that perfectly fits a queen size bed. hardwood floors, 1910 building, lots of enormous closets, clawfoot tub, cute kitchen, lots of big windows. my cat would flip shit about the sunroom surrounded by trees (read: squirrels). the clincher is that it’s a sublet and the lease goes to october, perfect! while the sinks leave something to be desired…(separate cold/hot faucets in the bathroom, old single basin with no disposal in the kitchen) it’s a great place for $630ish.
but here’s the pickle, my parents are trying to sell the house i grew up in and they’re having an incredibly difficult time. it’s just sitting there, empty and unloved, and my mom offered up the idea that i could live in it (RENT FREE!!!!) until someone buys it. it’s a pretty good sized house (2100 sqft), has a big deck, garage, dishwasher (OMG HALLELUJAH), a real kitchen-sized kitchen, walkin closet, blahblahblah. it’s a fucking house. there’s a pool and like a billion parks in the neighborhood. and it would be just me and stella. but there are some hangups. it’s 15 miles from work, there’s no washer and dryer hooked up (do they have laundromats in the ‘burbs?), i’d be all alone in the suburbs, and once a serious buyer puts an offer on the house i’d have 3 weeks to get out. and where would i end up? even further from the city crashing at my parent’s present house till i moved out of colorado.
that’s the part that really breaks my heart. i lived at my parent’s house for a year after studying abroad and it’s essentially why i lost a lot of my friends. it’s 30 miles from the city (45min without traffic) which makes any form of socializing nearly impossible. the idea of living there during my last few months in denver, the last summer, the last time i get to see so many people for who knows how long, is just terrible. i would really like to spend my remaining time close to everyone.
BUT IT’S FREE. that’s $600+ a month that i can put in my pocket for california! and the house for sale is so big and pretty and i could have people over and we could hang on the deck in the summer! i mean i’d have to convince them to come, but once they do it’d be cool! OH but what about dudes? how does one date/hook up while living so far away? ugh, just so many pros and cons.
so, do i get the cute, small, old, expensive place in town and live out my remaining months rockin it city-style and head to L.A. with just a little bit saved up? or do i move into the big empty house in the ‘burbs with the end result of living with my parents for my last hurrah but with a big ‘ole wad of cash in my pockets?
TELL ME WHAT TO DO TUMBLR, TELL ME WHAT TO DO! WHAT DO I DOOOOO?
“No, look, there’s a blue box. It’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. It can go anywhere in time and space and sometimes even where it’s meant to go. And when it turns up, there’s a bloke in it called The Doctor and there will be stuff wrong and he will do his best to sort it out and he will probably succeed cos he’s awesome. Now sit down, shut up, and watch ‘Blink’.”—
so in my plowing through seasons 1,2 and now 3 i’ve finally gotten to ‘blink’. and it is terrifying. truly impressive for a cheesy british scifi show with little to no special effects (essentially none in this episode).
i mean i should have known; one should never second guess gaiman.
crush called to see if i was going to our coworker’s dj thing. i replied that i am really pooped from skiing today and that i am just going to watch supernatural in my pjs and hit the sack early since i’m working brunch tomorrow.
what the everliving fuck is my damage?
does “watching supernatural in my pjs on a friday night” count as “playing hard to get”?
“I made this flowchart because it’s like every few months I come across a rusty knife and ask someone, “Hey, if I stab myself in the palm with this rusty knife, will it hurt?” “Yup.” “Okay, I’ll just try it anyway–FUCK THAT HURT!” Some time later: “Hey, if I stab myself in the palm with this rusty knife, will it hurt?” “Yup.” “Okay, I’ll just try it anyway–FUCK THAT HURT!” More time later: “Hey, if I stab myself in the palm with this rusty knife, will it hurt?” “Yup.” “Okay, I’ll just try it anyway–FUCK THAT HURT!”—