I think the main reason why I am not really jealous of people with amazing television writing jobs or blog-to-book deals or stand-up albums or any of the shit that I should be jealous of is because I’m too busy being jealous of these mythical and extraordinary people who sort their recycling and aren’t terrified of moths and don’t regularly throw away tupperware because they forgot to clean it for too long and know how to accept compliments and respond to text messages. Like, congratulations on writing a book or whatever but holy shit, whoa whoa whoa, you’ve done laundry within the last three months?! I don’t really care how much cash you’re rolling in because you’re a hip young showrunner but if you tell me that you can respond to e-mails without throwing up from anxiety then I will spend the rest of the night silently seething in jealousy and planning your death.
i haven’t tumblred anything in a million and a half years, but i also haven’t read anything that i related to so hard and that made me feel less alone and like a fuckup as this paragraph right here. definitely worthy of a break in the radio silence.
Facebook: allowing random weirdos you barely knew when you were a teenager (that didn’t even go to your high school) to make you feel guilty about something you weren’t even aware you weren’t doing.
Oops I’m sorry I didn’t reply to you back in September. And again yesterday when I hadn’t even looked at Facebook in 4 days, guy who I couldn’t pick out of a crowd.
Fuck your thing that says EAT in your kitchen.
A new survey from Match.com reveals what singles think about love, marriage, and sex. Your tumblr Jess finds another juicy nugget: Republicans have more orgasms.
“what are these ‘dates’ you speak of?” - every 20something single girl today.
Because he will grip you by the shoulders and wrench you around and he will bring his bristly mouth to yours and blow
down your throat
you are so full
light. — You Better Not Cry by Augusten Burroughs (via lunelait )
(Source: nantes, via missdecay-deactivated20120322)
I like a boy.
We met while we were in Israel. He’s tall and funny and amazing.
He lives in California, not here.
i’ve been pretty MIA in the last month. first i went to visit my wonderful andrew in philly and he took me to new york for my first time. then it was christmas and hanukkah and new years and aaaack.
and THEN i went to fucking ISRAEL for two weeks. yes it was amazing and mind blowing and life changing and i made the best friends ever. i will do a whole bit on it complete with photoset and maybe even a map as a visual aid. how about a powerpoint complete with swooshy fadeouts? or maybe this will be my only post on the whole thing. WHO’S TO SAY? but at least here’s one picture as proof that i visited the western wall in jerusalem.
onebadapple asked: Where are you? ILU!
oh i’m around, being busy.
and i spent some time in ISRAEL. you know, just normal stuff.
(miss you love you)