i can't believe it's not that interesting!

synecdoche: I think the main reason why I am not really jealous of people with amazing television...

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:00:25 -0400

I think the main reason why I am not really jealous of people with amazing television writing jobs or blog-to-book deals or stand-up albums or any of the shit that I should be jealous of is because I’m too busy being jealous of these mythical and extraordinary people who sort their recycling and aren’t terrified of moths and don’t regularly throw away tupperware because they forgot to clean it for too long and know how to accept compliments and respond to text messages. Like, congratulations on writing a book or whatever but holy shit, whoa whoa whoa, you’ve done laundry within the last three months?! I don’t really care how much cash you’re rolling in because you’re a hip young showrunner but if you tell me that you can respond to e-mails without throwing up from anxiety then I will spend the rest of the night silently seething in jealousy and planning your death.

i haven’t tumblred anything in a million and a half years, but i also haven’t read anything that i related to so hard and that made me feel less alone and like a fuckup as this paragraph right here. definitely worthy of a break in the radio silence.

Facebook: allowing random weirdos you barely knew when you were...

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:14:14 -0500

Facebook: allowing random weirdos you barely knew when you were a teenager (that didn’t even go to your high school) to make you feel guilty about something you weren’t even aware you weren’t doing.
Oops I’m sorry I didn’t reply to you back in September. And again yesterday when I hadn’t even looked at Facebook in 4 days, guy who I couldn’t pick out of a crowd.

fuckyournoguchicoffeetable: Fuck your thing that says EAT in...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 02:31:27 -0500

fuckyournoguchicoffeetable:

Fuck your thing that says EAT in your kitchen.

newsweek: A new survey from Match.com reveals what singles...

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 01:39:07 -0500

newsweek:

A new survey from Match.com reveals what singles think about love, marriage, and sex. Your tumblr Jess finds another juicy nugget: Republicans have more orgasms.

“what are these ‘dates’ you speak of?” - every 20something single girl today.

Photo

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 23:15:25 -0500

Photo

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:57:46 -0500

"Because he will grip you by the shoulders and wrench you around and he will bring his bristly mouth..."

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:57:37 -0500

“Because he will grip you by the shoulders and wrench you around and he will bring his bristly mouth to yours and blow
stars
down your throat
until
you are so full
of
light.”

- You Better Not Cry by Augusten Burroughs (via lunelait )

A short word on love

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:20:56 -0500

I like a boy.
We met while we were in Israel. He’s tall and funny and amazing.
He lives in California, not here.

It sucks.

i’ve been pretty MIA in the last month. first i went to...

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:19:57 -0500

i’ve been pretty MIA in the last month. first i went to visit my wonderful andrew in philly and he took me to new york for my first time. then it was christmas and hanukkah and new years and aaaack.

and THEN i went to fucking ISRAEL for two weeks. yes it was amazing and mind blowing and life changing and i made the best friends ever. i will do a whole bit on it complete with photoset and maybe even a map as a visual aid. how about a powerpoint complete with swooshy fadeouts? or maybe this will be my only post on the whole thing. WHO’S TO SAY? but at least here’s one picture as proof that i visited the western wall in jerusalem.

Where are you? ILU!

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:08:02 -0500

oh i’m around, being busy.

and i spent some time in ISRAEL. you know, just normal stuff.

(miss you love you)

the best part about prepping for a trip to visit my bestest...

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:49:00 -0500

the best part about prepping for a trip to visit my bestest friend in the whole wide world? attacking the bed bath & beyond wall of travel size stuff.

brb. i just gotta…uh…go to my room…to...

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 01:39:16 -0500

brb. i just gotta…uh…go to my room…to get…something….

November 16th, 35 degrees out today and still no heat in my...

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:57:22 -0500

November 16th, 35 degrees out today and still no heat in my apartment. Once again my gel pack and I have a close, intimate relationship. He spends a lot of time down my pants and against my bewbz.
I need a burly cuddle buddy. Or to start fucking a guy with access to heat (I’ve fucked a lot of guys who don’t have heat in their apartments).

I’m ready for the great werewolf war.

Sat, 12 Nov 2011 20:48:00 -0500

I’m ready for the great werewolf war.

Let me just blow off some steam here

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:03:22 -0500

Here I am sitting at the bar of the restaurant where the guy I thought I was dating a few months ago (but apparently I was mistaken) is the head chef. I was supposed to meet 3 of my friends for a girls’ lunch but no one’s shown up. I’m hiding in a dark corner just hoping he doesn’t walk out of the kitchen and notice me all alone. Because I know he’s going to think I’m here to casually say hello, which I’m not. I’ve seen his new girlfriend and I understand what all my unanswered texts mean.
Would it be weird if I put a big sign on my head that says “I’m not here for you.”?

I just want to crawl into a hole and cry after these last 2 weeks.

rantrantrantrant

Oh good, I’m going to have a crazy woman’s passport...

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 17:49:35 -0400

Oh good, I’m going to have a crazy woman’s passport for the next 20 years.

purplediculous: Added that bow in photoshop and now I’m feeling...

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:00:05 -0400

purplediculous:

Added that bow in photoshop and now I’m feeling so fly like a G6.

i have one of these and it’s pretty much my favorite hair accessory ever. you all should order one. or seven.

everythinginthesky: (via reddit) GPOY stomping through a pile...

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:47:54 -0400

everythinginthesky:

(via reddit)

GPOY stomping through a pile of leaves.

Photo

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:14:17 -0400

The Mad Hatter, The Cheshire Cat and The Pin Cushion Queen.

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 19:19:14 -0400

The Mad Hatter, The Cheshire Cat and The Pin Cushion Queen.